By Any Other Name
by Brandon Taylor
Summary: A new duelist, Iam Enitnelav, enters the scene at the KaibaCorp Grand Championship. He duels against Joey Wheeler. But at the end of the duel, Joey and his friends may discover that Iam Enitnelav is actually someone else...


"By Any Other Name…"

A Storyline by Brandon Taylor

Based upon "Yu-Gi-Oh!" created by Kazuki Takahashi

September 13, 2005

**Dramatis Personae**

Yugi Muto

Pharaoh Yami

Joey Wheeler

Tristan Taylor

Téa Gardner

Rebecca Hawkins

Duke Devlin

Iam Enitnelav (read: Mai Valentine)

Seto Kaiba

The Duel Promoter

And a Computer Voice to announce the duel.

**Our Story Begins…**

WE FIND Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Téa, Rebecca, and Duke at the scene of the KaibaCorp Grand Championship. Joey has just defeated Zigfried in the second round, and could be just two duels away from facing Yugi in the championship duel. His friends are congratulating him on a duel well fought.

TRISTAN:"Yo, Joe! Way to go, man!"

DUKE:"That Zig-freak should have seen the look on his face when your Red-Eyes just toasted him!"

JOEY:"What can I say? I got the Heart of the Cards on my side, right?"

ALL:"Right!"

JOEY:"Yeah, I thought so. Well, I got to go prepare for my next duel. I'm' a show my next opponent how things are done in Joey Wheeler's house!"

REBECCA:"Go get 'em, Joey!"

DUKE:"Yeah, we'll all be rooting for you…" (He throws Tristan a dirty look.) "...won't we, Tristan?!"

TRISTAN, who had been rolling his eyes:"Huh? Yeah, sure, we'll all be rooting for you."

DUKE and JOEY together:"TRISTAN!"

TRISTAN:"What?! What'd I do?"

But Joey turns to Yugi instead.

JOEY:"How about you, Yuge? You'll be rooting for me, right?"

YUGI:"Mm-hmm."

JOEY:"All right."

He goes to his locker room to prepare for his next duel… only to find that his locker room is no longer the secure place that it once had been.

**Encounter with Iam Enitnelav**

STRANGER:"Joey Wheeler."

JOEY:"What?!"

STRANGER:"You are preparing for your next duel, I presume?"

JOEY:"Yeah? What's it to you?"

STRANGER:"I advise you to prepare somewhat differently."

JOEY:"Look, punk! Just who are you to tell me how to prepare my deck?!"

STRANGER:"I am Iam Enitnelav. And I tell you to prepare your deck somewhat differently for your next opponent."

JOEY:"Why? You can't tell me how to…"

But Iam has Joey by the collar of his shirt.

IAM:"Prepare differently, because I am your next opponent."

JOEY:"But that's illegal! You never entered into this tournament, so surely you can't just waltz into my locker room and challenge…"

Iam grabs the collar again.

IAM:"This has nothing to do with the tournament. This is a personal exhibition duel. So I assure you that even if you lose, you need not go home."

JOEY:"Look, bud. Just how did you stage this duel, anyway?"

IAM:"You know Seto Kaiba, do you not?"

JOEY:"He's a lousy, spoiled, rich jerk, but sure, I know him. I mean, how can you grow up and not know THE Seto Kaiba?"

IAM:"Yes, he's rich…but sometimes he just doesn't think he's rich enough."

JOEY:"What's that supposed to mean?"

IAM:"At times, he can still be a money-hungry skinflint."

JOEY:"Yeah?"

IAM:"But money is not his only weak point, you know."

JOEY:"Oh really?"

IAM:"Yes. I know that the only thing he wants worse than money was to see you defeated at any cost, by anyone. He loves gloating whenever he sees you lose."

JOEY:"WHAT?!"

IAM:"So I struck a deal with him. I say to him, I say, 'I know how rich you are.'"

_**FLASHBACK: The Deal between Iam Enitnelav and Seto Kaiba**_

SETO:"How did you get into my office?! I have security guards posted all around me for miles around my BUILDING!"

IAM:"This I know. But your security is still highly lax, if I do say so myself."

SETO:"What have you done with my guards?!"

IAM:"There is nothing a little money can't fix."

SETO:"Money! YOU BRIBED MY GUARDS?!!"

IAM:"Why, yes, I did, but mark my words, it wasn't easy. Each one of them had a progressively higher asking price as I moved my way up to find you."

SETO:"I ought to have you prosecuted for trespassing, harassment, bribery, invasion of privacy, and scores of other charges!"

IAM:"Sit down, Seto Kaiba. I wish to strike a deal with you."

SETO:"Just exactly what kind of a deal are we talking about?"

IAM:"I know how rich you are."

SETO:"What's it to you?"

IAM:"And yet, I know that you would love nothing better than to acquire even MORE money."

SETO:"Please. I make over a million dollars a DAY. What possible help could I want from a dirty, lowdown, no-good street punk like YOU?!"

IAM:"In case you are interested…"

SETO:"No deal. I show no interest in ANYTHING you have to say."

IAM:"How would you like ten million dollars in one day?"

SETO:"Ten… million… dollars?"

IAM:"Yes, you money-hungry fool, TEN million dollars. Did I perhaps stutter?"

SETO:"If you did, I didn't hear it, and nor do I care."

IAM:"Good."

SETO:"All right. Let's suppose that for five minutes, I'll do it. What do I have to do?"

IAM:"I know what your initial thoughts are. You'll buy shares of other companies' stock, and get ten million dollars out of that, right? Or increase your production tenfold and therefore increase your income tenfold, right?"

SETO:"Well, I have considered…"

IAM:"WRONG!"

SETO:"What?!"

IAM:"I do not set store for the economy. To collect your ten million dollars, all you have to do is watch me face off in a duel…"

SETO:"Ten million dollars for something as simple as watching you duel?"

IAM:"You will not watch me face off against another dirty, lowdown, no-good street punk such as myself."

SETO:"Huh?"

IAM:"You will watch me face off against the person you hate the second-most of all: Joseph Gilbert Wheeler."

SETO:"Who are you to know what I like and what I dislike?"

IAM:"My name is Iam Enitnelav. I know much about you. I also know what you are thinking: What chance does a dirty, lowdown, no-good street punk have against the Duelist Kingdom runner-up, the Battle City fourth-place finisher, and a KaibaCorp Grand Championship qualifier?"

SETO:"What?!"

IAM:"That is why I have included a 'chicken' clause in this contract." (He pulls out a piece of paper.)

SETO:"Don't—you—DARE—call—Seto—Kaiba—chicken!"

IAM:"I assure you, I did not intend for this to sound personal. I ask that you accept my apologies."

SETO:"Do not let it happen again!"

IAM:"As I was saying, I have included a 'chicken' clause. It states clearly that if you do not wish to see this duel, or if you believe that Joey Wheeler will in fact defeat me, you can refuse the deal right now and take $200,000."

SETO:"Two hundred thousand dollars?! What kind of a dirty, lowdown, no-good street punk ARE you?! Two hundred thousand dollars is CHUMP CHANGE compared to what I make in a DAY!"

IAM:"In that case, am I to gather that you will take a shot at the ten million?"

SETO:"Fool! OF COURSE I AM TAKING THE SHOT!"

IAM:"Very well. I will pay you one million dollars to watch the duel, which will take place tomorrow after the second round of the KaibaCorp Grand Championship. If I win the duel, then the entire ten million dollars shall be yours. Should the duel end in a draw, you may keep the one million dollars, plus your company. But be warned, Kaiba-boy…"

Seto growls in anger. Maximillion Pegasus repeatedly used the "Kaiba-boy" line against him in season one of "Yu-Gi-Oh!" and it ticked him off then. Apparently, it still ticks him off now. Iam continues:

IAM:"… if I lose… you can kiss… KaibaCorp…" (Makes kissing sound) "…goodbye."

Seto says nothing—perhaps because he is so angry that he cannot utter a word. Iam takes Seto's silence as an agreement to Iam's deal.

IAM:"The deal is concluded. I leave you in peace."

He exits, leaving Seto Kaiba angry and confused. Seto says nothing for several minutes. Then:

SETO:"MOKUBA!"

_**Back to Joey's Locker Room**_

JOEY:"Wait a minute. Time-out! You put up ten million dollars against KaibaCorp on the outcome of a duel between you and me? You got to be kidding!"

IAM:"I assure you, every word I have spoken to you is the absolute truth. I offered him a deal that I knew he would be too angry to refuse."

JOEY:"You cheated him, using his own emotions against him?"

IAM:"Please. I prefer a less provocative choice of words. Sure, Seto Kaiba is rich… but the rich are SO easy to manipulate. Wouldn't you say so yourself, Joey-boy?"

With that, he falls silent. Neither he nor Joey says anything for several seconds. Then Joey says:

JOEY:"Give me five minutes to prepare my deck."

IAM:"Very well. I leave you in peace until our duel, and may the best duelist win." (Exit)

JOEY:"You got that right!"

And he begins to fine-tune his deck against the one called Iam Enitnelav.

**Meanwhile, Back In the Duel Arena…**

PROMOTER:"It's all over! Vivian Wong, with a powerful attack, has taken out her opponent and qualified for the final four!"

Cheering and applause erupts among the audience. Iam Enitnelav joins Yugi and the others.

IAM:"You are Yugi Muto, are you not?"

YUGI:"Yes, I am."

IAM:"THE Yugi Muto? The two-time Duel Monsters World Champion?"

TRISTAN:"You better believe it!"

REBECCA:"Yeah! Even Seto Kaiba's no match for him! He can take 'em all out any day of the week!" (Looks lovingly at Yugi) "Isn't that right, Yugi-boy?"

Yugi blushes. Behind him, Téa scowls.

DUKE:"Let him go, Becky. He needs to focus on the tournament."

REBECCA:_"Don't call me Becky!"_

IAM:"I have also heard that you are a friend to Joey Wheeler, are you not?"

YUGI:"Yeah."

PROMOTER:"Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes the second round of play in the Grand Championship sponsored by KaibaCorp!"

IAM:"Good lord, I've got to run!"

PROMOTER:"And the final four duelists are… Vivian Wong!" (Cheering and applause) "Joey Wheeler—Hey, wait a minute! We can't have that! Somebody get that kid away from the dueling arena!"

IAM:"If it's all the same to you, Mr. Promoter, I have special clearance to be in the dueling arena at this time."

PROMOTER, to Iam:"My apologies, sir, but I am afraid you will have to leave. You are not a member of this tournament."

IAM:"This I know…"

PROMOTER:"Then I must ask you to vacate the duel premises immediately, before I call security."

IAM:"Ah, but I have special clearance to be here now."

PROMOTER:"I am sorry, sir, but where is the proof of this?"

IAM:"I believe this…" (He pulls out a piece of paper and shows it to the Promoter.) "…shall be sufficient proof for my special clearance."

The paper reads thus: "I, Seto R. Kaiba, do hereby give my permission for Iam Enitnelav to be in the KaibaCorp Grand Championship dueling arena, and to face-off in a non-tournament duel against Joseph Gilbert Wheeler, to take place immediately upon the conclusion of the second round of the tournament."

PROMOTER:"So I see. And your authority for this duel is…?"

VOICE:"That would be my authority."

Seto Kaiba has entered the dueling premises.

PROMOTER:"Mr. Kaiba! I… had no idea…"

SETO:"Call out Wheeler, now."

PROMOTER:"Y-yes, sir, as you wish, sir." (To the general public) "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please! Will Joey Wheeler please report to the dueling arena immediately?"

JOEY:"Well, I'd better run."

He takes his place at the dueling arena.

PROMOTER:"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make. In just seconds, we will have a non-tournament duel between KaibaCorp Grand Championship qualifier Joey Wheeler, and tournament visitor…" (To Iam) "What did you say your name was, again, sir?"

IAM:"My name is Iam Enitnelav."

PROMOTER:"…tournament visitor Iam Enitnelav." (To Iam) "Iam Enitnelav? What an odd name. Could it perhaps be Russian?"

IAM, in his best attempt at a Russian accent:"Indeed, comrade." (Normal voice, to Seto Kaiba) "You are no longer needed here."

SETO:(Nods) "I will watch the duel from the seats."

Iam nods and says to the Promoter:

IAM:"Begin this duel!"

**The Duel Begins!**

PROMOTER:"Ladies and gentlemen, this exhibition duel is about to get underway!"

IAM and JOEY:"Activate Duel Discs!"

Their Duel Discs activate and engage, ready for a duel.

IAM and JOEY:"Load cards!"

The respective decks are loaded, the duelists get five cards each, and we are prepared to begin.

IAM and JOEY:"DUEL!"

COMPUTER VOICE:_"Game start."_

IAM: 4000 LP, JOEY: 4000 LP

IAM:"I'll start this show." (He draws a card.) "I'll play two cards facedown, and summon Harpie Lady in defense mode!"

Harpie Lady: 1400 DEF

TRISTAN:"Yo! That guy just played a Harpie Lady in defense mode!"

REBECCA:"What does that mean?"

But Yugi isn't listening.

YUGI:"Harpie Lady and two down cards? There's something familiar about that opening play…"

YAMI:"Yes… It's so familiar, it's haunting."

YUGI:"What are you talking about, Pharaoh?"

YAMI:"That is exactly the same opening play employed by Mai Valentine."

YUGI:"HUH?!"

YAMI:"I have studied that duelist's name for a time now, and I have discovered that 'Iam Enitnelav' is actually 'Mai Valentine' in reverse!"

YUGI:"What's that supposed to mean?"

YAMI:"It means, Yugi, that I would not be surprised if Iam is playing just like Mai. Nor would I be surprised if Iam Enitnelav is, in reality, Mai Valentine!"

YUGI:"MAI?!!"

YAMI:"I just hope that Joey will watch his step."

Meanwhile, back at the duel…

IAM:"Your move."

JOEY:(As he draws) "I summon Flame Manipulator in defense mode."

Flame Manipulator: 1000 DEF

JOEY:"Then I'll put two cards facedown, and that's it for me."

IAM:(As he draws) "Well, I daresay this will get highly boring if we play defense all day, so I think I'll shift Harpie Lady into attack mode."

Harpie Lady: 1300 ATK

IAM:"And then I'll play Hibikime, also in attack mode!"

Hibikime: 1450 ATK

IAM:"Now, Harpie Lady, destroy Flame Manipulator!"

Joey snickers and laughs.

IAM:"What?!"

JOEY:"You stupid fool! Reveal trap card Castle Walls! Now I can give my Flame Manipulator a power boost!"

Flame Manipulator: 1500 DEF

JOEY:"Assuming, of course, that my math is right, YOU lose 200 life points!"

IAM:"Wrong! Reveal counter trap!"

JOEY:"What?!"

IAM:"Reverse Trap!"

Flame Manipulator: 500 DEF

IAM:"Assuming MY math is right, Flame Manipulator is no more!"

JOEY:"WHAT?!!"

Flame Manipulator is destroyed.

IAM:"Now, Hibikime, attack his life points directly with Sonic Scream!"

IAM: 4000 LP, JOEY: 2550 LP

IAM:"My turn is concluded."

Now Joey draws.

JOEY:"Now I summon Gearfried the Iron Knight!"

Gearfried the Iron Knight: 1800 ATK

JOEY:"Attack Harpie Lady!"

And Harpie Lady is destroyed.

IAM: 3500 LP, JOEY: 2550 LP

JOEY:"And that's it for me."

Iam draws.

IAM:(Thinking as Mai) _Still no Elegant Egotist? Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to make the most of what I do have. But what's this? "Queen's Double?" Excellent! Now I just need one more card for "Empress Judge."_ (Speaking as Iam) "Now I summon Queen's Double!"

Queen's Double: 350 ATK

Joey snickers and laughs again.

JOEY:"No way. Now I KNOW you've lost it! What's 350 points supposed to do against Gearfried the Iron Knight?!"

IAM:"Queen's Double, attack his Life Points directly!"

IAM: 3500 LP, JOEY: 2200 LP

IAM:"Honestly, Joey, you may have learned much about the game itself, but you _still_ have much to learn. Now I play… Swords of Revealing Light! I trust you know what that card does? It shuts down your offense for a total of three turns!" (Pause) "My turn has concluded."

JOEY:_Aw, man! With that Swords card, attacking right now might as well be the same as talking to a brick wall! And yet, if I can't get that Queen's Double off the field, then my life points will be nothing more than a ticking time bomb until I lose! I got to think of something._ (Draws) _That ought to do it!_ "Now I summon 7 Colored Fish in attack mode! And I'll follow it up with one card facedown, and Malevolent Nuzzler!"

IAM:"Not so fast, Wheeler! Remember the Swords of Revealing Light?"

JOEY:"Who said I was tacking my card on to any of _my_ monsters, huh?"

IAM:"Now I know you've lost it, Wheeler! By boosting MY monster's attack power, you've just lost even more Life Points!"

JOEY, sarcastically:"Really? Ooh, I'm so scared!" (Serious) "I think I'll attach it to Queen's Double!"

Queen's Double: 1050 ATK

JOEY:"My turn ends."

Swords of Revealing Light: 1 turn expired

IAM:(Thinking as Mai) _Joey could be up to something. I'd better be prepared for anything._ (Draws) _This card is completely useless to me right now… so I think I'll save it for later in the duel._ (Speaking as Iam) "Now, Queen's Double, attack his Life Points directly!"

JOEY:(Laughing) "Gotcha!"

IAM:"What?! No!"

JOEY:"Oh, yeah! Reveal trap card… Reverse Trap!"

Queen's Double: 0 ATK

IAM: 3500 LP, JOEY: 2200 LP

IAM:"Oh, no!"

JOEY:"Who's the sucker now, sucker?!"

TRISTAN:"I can't believe Iam fell for that!"

DUKE:"That was a sweet move!"

TÉA:"That _was_ a good move, wasn't it?"

IAM, infuriated:"Your move!"

Queen's Double: 1050 ATK

Joey draws.

JOEY:"I'll put a few cards facedown, and then I'll summon… Harpie's Brother in attack mode!"

Harpie's Brother: 1800 ATK

JOEY:"And that ends my turn."

Swords of Revealing Light: 2 turns expired

Iam draws.

IAM:(Thinking as Mai) _Yes! That's JUST the card I need!_ (Speaking as Iam) "Now I play the magic card… Polymerization, thereby allowing me to fuse Queen's Double and Hibikime…" (With this move, Malevolent Nuzzler is destroyed.) "…in order to create… Empress Judge!"

Empress Judge: 2100 ATK

JOEY:"Hold on. With that move, you destroyed my Malevolent Nuzzler card. Now its secondary effect happens: By giving up 500 life points…"

IAM: 3500 LP, JOEY: 1700 LP

JOEY:"…I can put the card on top of my deck!"

IAM:"Now, Empress Judge, destroy Gearfried the Iron Knight!"

JOEY:"Reveal Trap Card Waboku! I take no damage from your attack!"

Nevertheless, Gearfried the Iron Knight is destroyed.

IAM:"I play a final card facedown. My turn is over."

Joey re-draws the "Malevolent Nuzzler" card.

JOEY:"Now, reveal trap card Pyro Clock of Destiny! You know what THAT means, right?"

The Swords of Revealing Light are destroyed, leaving Joey free to attack.

JOEY:"Then, I'll summon my Darkfire Soldier in attack mode!"

Darkfire Soldier: 1700 ATK

JOEY:"Next, I'll re-play my Malevolent Nuzzler card! And THIS time, I'm tacking it on to Harpie's Brother!"

Harpie's Brother: 2500 ATK

JOEY:"Now, Harpie's Brother, destroy the Empress Judge!"

IAM: 3100 LP, JOEY: 1700 LP

JOEY:"7-Colored Fish, attack his Life Points directly!"

IAM: 1300 LP, JOEY: 1700 LP

JOEY:"And Darkfire Soldier, finish him and end this duel!"

IAM:"Activate trap card Waboku! We shall duel on!"

JOEY:"Aw, man! I was so close!"

IAM:"'So close' just doesn't cut the cheese with me, Wheeler!"

JOEY:"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do your worst. Who cares? I'll still kick your butt in the end. But for now, my turn ends."

Iam draws a card.

IAM:(Thinking as Mai) _I did it! Now I can finish him off right here and now!_ (Speaking as Iam) "So the game ends, Joey… but oh, how wrong you are about its outcome."

JOEY:"Just play your card and get it over with already!"

IAM:"Oh, very well… if you must be so insistent. I summon another Harpie Lady in defense mode."

Harpie Lady: 1400 DEF

IAM:"Then I play… Elegant Egotist!"

TRISTAN:"There it is again! That's another one of Mai's cards that he just put down!"

REBECCA:"What's that supposed to mean?"

YUGI:"He just played Elegant Egotist."

YAMI:"Elegant Egotist? That's another one of Mai's cards!"

YUGI:"Yes. I'm starting to get a little bit worried now."

YAMI:"As am I, Yugi… as am I."

Meanwhile, back in the duel…

IAM:"Elegant Egotist allows me to intensify the attack strength of my Harpie Lady. By the effect of this card… one Harpie becomes three. Joey Wheeler, now you shall meet the monster that shall be your impending doom: the Harpie Lady Sisters!"

Harpie Lady Sisters: 1950 ATK

IAM:"Now, my Harpie Lady Sisters: destroy the Darkfire Soldier!"

IAM: 1300 LP, JOEY: 1450 LP

IAM:"Seeing as I can't attack any further, my Battle Phase ends here. But just so you don't get any bright ideas, I'll play the card called 'De-Spell!'"

JOEY:"What?!"

IAM:"And I think you know which Magic Card I'm about to target!"

JOEY:"Oh, boy."

IAM:"Malevolent Nuzzler!"

Harpie's Brother: 1800 ATK

Joey is smiling.

IAM:"What're you smiling at, Wheeler?"

JOEY:"You know I can bring it back by paying 500 life points, right?"

IAM:"Not this time, Wheeler! I play: Soul Release!"

JOEY:"Aw, what?!"

IAM:"That's right! Malevolent Nuzzler is no more, and with that, I put a final card facedown and end my turn."

Joey draws a card.

JOEY:_All right! This is just the monster I need to take down that Harpie trio!_ "I'll sacrifice Harpie's Brother and 7 Colored Fish to summon the most powerful monster in my arsenal: the almighty Red-Eyes Black Dragon!"

Red-Eyes Black Dragon: 2400 ATK

IAM:"Not so fast! Now I reveal the Trap Card that will end this duel once and for all: Trap Hole!"

JOEY:"Bad move, punk! I reveal my counter trap: The Seven Tools of the Bandit! All I have to do is pay 1000 life points, and my Red-Eyes remains on the field!"

IAM: 1300 LP, JOEY: 450 LP

JOEY:"But of course, I do have the perfect Magic Card to counteract that: Dian Keto the Cure Master!"

IAM:"Activate counter trap: Magic Jammer! Your card is no good!"

JOEY:"What?!"

IAM:"By discarding a card from my hand, I can negate the activation of that Magic Card and destroy it!"

IAM: 1300 LP, JOEY: 450 LP

JOEY:"Yeah? Well, you _still_ left my Red-Eyes on the field, punk! That's going to be your biggest mistake so far in the duel! Red-Eyes: ATTACK!"

The Harpie Lady Sisters are no more.

IAM: 850 LP, JOEY: 450 LP

JOEY:"And that ends my turn."

Iam draws a card.

IAM:(Thinking as Mai) _I am somewhat disappointed to have to win the duel this way, but who cares? A win's a win._ (Speaking as Iam) "I now summon… Man-Eater Bug in attack mode!"

Man-Eater Bug: 450 ATK

Joey snickers and laughs again.

JOEY:"Hey! Just what kind of a duelist _are_ you, anyway? You're putting Man-Eater Bug, a monster of nothing but 450 attack points, in attack mode against my Red-Eyes?! Whoa, man, you seriously need to get back to basics."

IAM:"Who said I was planning to attack? Instead, I'll end my turn by placing one card facedown." (Thinking as Mai) _The minute he draws his next card, it'll be game over._

Joey draws a card.

JOEY:"The game's over, buddy! YOU LOSE! Now, Red-Eyes: take out that Man-Eater Bug and finish this duel!"

IAM:"Only one out of two, I'm afraid. You see, you are correct in that the game _is_ over…but how wrong you are about who has emerged victorious!"

JOEY:"Please! I don't need to be a genius to decide the battle! You've taken 1950 points of damage thanks to my attack, but you only have 850 life points, so that means I win the duel!"

IAM:"Ah, but I have one last card on the field."

JOEY:"WHAT?!"

IAM:"Activate trap card Ring of Destruction!"

JOEY:"What's that card supposed to do?"

IAM:"Glad you asked. It allows me to destroy one monster card that is face-up on either side of the field, and inflict Direct Damage equal to the attack power of the monster I select!"

JOEY:"So?"

IAM:"So, the monster I choose will be one of my own… and, incidentally, it's weak enough for me to emerge victorious: none other than my own Man-Eater Bug!"

JOEY:"WHAT?!"

IAM:"Now, Joey Wheeler, witness your final defeat!"

According to the rules of Ring of Destruction, the controller of that card must select and destroy one face-up Monster Card on either side of the field and inflict Direct Damage equal to the ATK of the selected monster to both players. Iam has selected Man-Eater Bug, which has an ATK of only 450. Therefore, the final score is:

IAM: 400 LP, JOEY: 0 LP

COMPUTER VOICE:_"Game over. Iam Enitnelav wins."_

JOEY:"How… could I… lose?" (Sobbing)

**Iam Enitnelav Unmasked**

IAM:"So, Joey Wheeler, the game is over, and you have fallen. Oh, and by the way, you will notice that I have never shown my face."

JOEY, not crying now:"Huh?"

IAM:"You see, Wheeler, I never show my face in public, unless I have proven to be victorious in a duel. I only show my face to allow my opponent to see who _really_ defeated my opponent."

TRISTAN:"Oh, boy. This is getting freakier by the minute."

REBECCA:"Tell me about it."

JOEY:"Is that so? Well, then, show me your face!"

IAM:"I do not show my face because you ask me to, Wheeler… but because I wish to."

And he starts to remove his disguise. We see long, blonde hair as he takes off the head cover. He removes his sunglasses to reveal purple eyes. Finally, he removes the mask and some of his other clothes, and we see for the first time the _true_ duelist that defeated Joey Wheeler.

**Surprise! Iam Enitnelav Is Really Mai Valentine!**

IAM/MAI:"Ta-da!"

ALL:"HUH?!!"

REBECCA:"That's no Russian!"

DUKE:"That's Mai Valentine!"

TRISTAN:"I knew there was something funny about those cards!"

YUGI:"Me, too!"

YAMI:"And as did I!"

MAI:"Surprised?"

JOEY:"Not really. Only _Mai Valentine_ could play those cards."

PROMOTER:"Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen enough to know that I have seen too much! The duelist known as Iam Enitnelav has defeated Joey Wheeler—only to reveal that Iam Enitnelav is really Mai Valentine! This will be something to talk about in Duel Monsters history for YEARS to come!"

JOEY:"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Time-out! If all you wanted was to duel me, then why didn't you come over and say so? I mean, what's the deal with all the cover-ups?"

MAI:"Be serious, Wheeler. I can't even come within twelve MILES of the arena without being the laughingstock of the game!"

JOEY:"Yeah, but…"

MAI:"All I wanted was to face-off against somebody in a duel. I heard that you were going to participate in the KaibaCorp Grand Championship, and so I was poised to enter myself in the tournament… but then my fear of being laughed at caught up with me, and so I just… backed away."

She hangs her head in shame. Joey deactivates his Duel Disc, steps over to her, and wraps himself around her.

JOEY:"Aw, Mai…"

MAI:"Please, Joey… just leave me alone."

But Yugi and the others join Joey and Mai.

JOEY:"Seriously, don't worry about it."

But apparently this is the wrong thing to say, as Mai now starts to blubber away in Joey's chest.

YUGI:"There is nothing to be fussed about, Mai, honest!"

MAI:"You guys are so _stupid!"_

She lets go of Joey and embraces the rest of her friends, one after another.

MAI, crying:"Why do I love you guys?"

YUGI:"Because we all love you."

YAMI:"That's right."

MAI:"Oh, you guys… thank you so much."

She moves over to Joey now.

MAI:"And you, Wheeler…"

She does something she has never done before: she kisses him.

JOEY:"Ah…"

He falls to the floor, unconscious.

TRISTAN:"I guess what they say is true: love hurts!"

That brings Joey back to his senses, and he yells:

JOEY:"TRISTAN!"

TRISTAN:"Hey, Joey! Did I just see Serenity?"

JOEY:"Huh?!"

TRISTAN:"Made you look!"

And he takes off.

JOEY:"HEY!" (Chasing after Tristan) "Wait till I get my hands on you…!"

TÉA:"Boy. Talk about tough love."

MAI:"That's Joey. He's always had a strange way of showing love."

DUKE:"I'll say."

MAI:"Well, guys, if you'll excuse me, I've got some things I have to do…"

She puts on the male disguise again.

MAI/IAM:"…as Iam Enitnelav, of course."

And Iam exits.

**The Final Conversation: Iam Enitnelav and Seto Kaiba**

Iam Enitnelav finds Seto Kaiba somewhere in the stands.

IAM:"Seto Kaiba."

SETO, angry:"What—do—you—want—now?!"

IAM:"Only to tell you that when you return to work tomorrow morning in KaibaCorp, you will find the entire sum of ten million dollars waiting for you on your office desk."

SETO:"Swell. Now get out of my sight!"

IAM:"As you wish." (Exit)

SETO:"Ooh… how I hate that man."

We close in on Seto Kaiba's angry face, and fade to black.

**THE END**

_**A Brandon Taylor Production**_

Text copyright © 2005 Brandon Taylor. All rights reserved.

© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi. "YU-GI-OH!" and all related characters and titles are trademarks of and © SHUEISHA, Inc. All rights reserved.


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